Heresy of the Week: Anabaptism

This week's heresy is one of the three main categories of protestantism.

Anabaptism is a 16th-21st century protestant heresy which teaches that Jesus did not derive his humanity from his human mother, Mary. This is known as the “doctrine of heavenly flesh” and “Incarnational Christology”. They believed that if Jesus was human like us, because of the fall of Adam, that redemption was impossible through the “seed of the Devil”. Some sects of Anabaptism also deny the trinity in the vein of Socinianism. Additionally, many of the other teachings of the “Radical Reformed” church are suspect. They believe in “believer baptism” only, meaning a public confession of faith must occur first, and if that didn’t happen (as in the case of an infant or Roman Catholic baptism), one must be re-baptized. Anabaptists adamantly deny being “rebaptizers”, since they consider the initial baptism to be invalid. Holy Communion was viewed as merely symbolic or memorial (see Symbolism). They taught that Christians should be separated from the world, should not make oaths or hold political office of any kind and should not exercise self-defense or ever go to war (pacifism). These teachings are still prevalent in churches who trace their roots back to the Radical Reformed churches, such as the Amish.

Hearing Voices

I've seen several posts about this on Facebook in recent weeks, and then we talked about this in Confirmation Class tonight (I'll have notes up later this week--we missed the last two weeks because we were out of town, so I want to watch the videos from those and post those notes first before I post tonight's class notes because I'm OCD like that).  So, of course, I have to commentate on it. 

One of my biggest frustrations with my protestant friends is hearing about how “God spoke to me,” as if it is some kind of conversation.  It isn’t.  There’s more that goes bump in the night than God—and if you can’t test the spirit from which your voice came and unequivocally prove it is Biblical, then you can pretty safely assume it wasn’t God.  If you’re still convinced it is of God, even if what was said isn’t Biblical, then, my dear friend, you are a Gnostic—getting secret knowledge from God that has not been revealed to anyone else, any time else, anywhere else.

“But God has plans for me—plans for good, and plans for me to prosper!” you may say (Jeremiah 29:11).  That is, perhaps, the single most consistently ripped-out-of-context verse in the entire Bible.  It is a specific promise to a specific people in a specific time and specific place—it is not a blanket promise to and for you.  God’s promise to and for you is His Son—Christ and Him crucified for your sins, and all you need to do is not reject that promise.

Don’t worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6).  Instead, focus on your vocations: wife, mother, sister, daughter, cousin, political activist, friend… tomorrow will worry about itself.

And next time you hear what you think is a still, small voice—test it (1 John 4).  If it isn’t of God (i.e. clearly found in the written words of the Bible), ignore it.  If you don’t ignore it, you’re either a Gnostic or listening to spirits not of God.  Neither is a good option… since they are essentially the same thing.

My Pastor made a great point in class tonight about having heard what he thought were voices of God himself--only to find out they weren't, and it was a disappointment and a faith-shaking experience.  That is what happens when we let things other than God into our faith.  That's why sound doctrine is so important.

Another good resource is the current (Fall 2013) issue of the Around the Word Journal on the Internal vs. External Word.

Heresy of the Week: Symbolism

This particular heresy is one that really bugs me because of how prevalent it is.  If you can doubt the clear saying of Scripture here, where else are you allowed to fill in your own meaning?

Symbolism is a term to describe the protestant Eucharistic heresy taught by the Arminians, Calvinists, and Radical Reformed. Their teaching is that the bread and wine simple “represent” or “symbolize” the Body and Blood of Our Lord. This teaching was resoundingly rejected by Martin Luther at the Marburg Colloquy with Zwingli, and is also condemned by the Catholic Church.

The Semi-Pelagian Narrower Catechism

This has been floating about on the 'net for quite some time (I have it in printed form from 2003...), but in reading it once again after not seeing it for so long (thanks, momma!), I am in tears--partly because it is so close to the truth it is sad, and partly because it's just darn funny--so I had to share.  While clearly written by a Calvinist, the vast majority of it is excellent satire.

The Semi-Pelagian Narrower Catechism

1. Q: What is the chief end of each individual Christian?
A: Each individual Christian's chief end is to get saved. This is the first and great commandment.  

2. Q: And what is the second great commandment?
A: The second, which is like unto it, is to get as many others saved as he can.

3. Q: What one work is required of thee for thy salvation?
A: It is required of me for my salvation that I make a Decision for Christ, which meaneth to accept Him into my heart to be my personal lord and saviour

4. Q: At what time must thou perform this work?
A: I must perform this work at such time as I have reached the Age of Accountability.

5. Q: At what time wilt thou have reached this Age?
A: That is a trick question. In order to determine this time, my mind must needs be sharper than any two-edged sword, able to pierce even to the division of bone and marrow; for, alas, the Age of Accountability is different for each individual, and is thus unknowable.

6. Q: By what means is a Decision for Christ made?
A: A Decision for Christ is made, not according to His own purpose and grace which was given to me in Christ Jesus before the world began, but according to the exercise of my own Free Will in saying the Sinner's Prayer in my own words.

7. Q: If it be true then that man is responsible for this Decision, how then can God be sovereign?
A: He cannot be. God sovereignly chose not to be sovereign, and is therefore dependent upon me to come to Him for salvation. He standeth outside the door of my heart, forlornly knocking, until such time as I Decide to let Him in.

8. Q: How then can we make such a Decision, seeing that the Scripture saith, we are dead in our trespasses and sins?
A: By this the Scripture meaneth, not that we are dead, but only that we are sick or injured in them.

9. Q: What is the assurance of thy salvation?
A: The assurance of thy salvation is, that I know the date on which I prayed the Sinner's Prayer, and have duly written this date on an official Decision card.

10. Q: What is thy story? What is thy song?
A: Praising my Savior all the day long.

11. Q: You ask me how I know he lives?
A: He lives within my heart.

12. Q: And what else hast thou got in thine heart?
A: I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.

13. Q: Where??
A: Down in my heart!

14. Q: Where???
A: Down in my heart!!

15. Q: What witness aid hath been given us as a technique by which we may win souls?
A: The tract known commonly as the Four Spiritual Laws, is the chief aid whereby we may win souls.

16. Q: What doth this tract principally teach?
A: The Four Spiritual Laws principally teach, that God's entire plan for history and the universe centereth on me, and that I am powerful enough to thwart His divine purpose if I refuse to let Him pursue His Wonderful Plan for my life.

17. Q: What supplementary technique is given by which we may win souls?
A: The technique of giving our own Personal Testimony, in the which we must always be ready to give an answer concerning the years we spent in vanity and pride, and the wretched vices in which we wallowed all our lives until the day we got saved.

18. Q: I'm so happy, what's the reason why?
A: Jesus took my burden all away!

19. Q: What are the means given whereby we may large crowds of souls in a spectacular manner?
A: Such a spectacle is accomplished by means of well-publicized Crusades and Revivals which (in order that none may be loath to attend) are best conducted anywhere else but in a Church.

20. Q: Am I a soldier of the Cross?
A: I am a soldier of the Cross if I join Campus Crusade, Boys' Brigade, the Salvation Army, or the Wheaton Crusaders; of if I put on the helmet of Dispensationalism, the breastplate of Pietism, the shield of Tribulationism, and the sword of Zionism, having my feet shod with the gospel of Arminianism.

21. Q: Who is your boss?
A: My boss is a Jewish carpenter.

22. Q: Hath God predestined vessels of wrath to Hell?
A: God hath never performed such an omnipotent act, for any such thing would not reflect His primary attribute, which is Niceness.

23. Q: What is sanctification?
A: Sanctification is the work of my free Will, whereby I am renewed by having my Daily Quiet Time.

24. Q: What rule hath God for our direction in prayer?
A: The rule that we must bow our hands, close our heads, and fold our eyes.

25. Q: What doth the Lord's Prayer teach us?
A: The Lord's Prayer teacheth us that we must never memorize a prayer, or use one that hath been written down.

26. Q: What's the book for thee?
A: The B-I-B-L-E.

27. Q: Which are among the first books which a Christian should read to his soul's health?
A: Among the first books which a Christian should read are the books of Daniel and Revelation, and The Late Great Planet Earth.

28. Q: Who is on the Lord's side?
A: He who doth support whatsoever is done by the nation of Israel, and who doth renounce the world, the flesh, and the Catholic Church.

29. Q: What are the seven deadly sins?
A: The seven deadly sins are smoking, drinking, dancing, card-playing, movie-going, baptizing babies, and having any creed but Christ.

30. Q: What is a sacrament?
A: A sacrament is an insidious invention devised by the Catholic Church whereby men are drawn into idolatry.

31. Q: What is the Lord's Supper?
A: The Lord's Supper is a dispensing of saltines and grape juice, in the which we remember Christ's command to pretend that they are His body and
blood.

32. Q: What is baptism?
A: Baptism is the act whereby, by the performance of something that seems quite silly in front of everyone, I prove that I really, really mean it.

33. Q: What is the Church?
A: The Church is the tiny minority of individuals living at this time who have Jesus in their hearts, and who come together once a week for a sermon, fellowship and donuts.

34. Q: What is the office of the keys?
A: The office of the keys is that office held by the custodian.

35. Q: What meaneth "The Priesthood Of All Believers"?
A: The Priesthood Of All Believers meaneth that there exists no authority in the Church, as that falsely thought to be held by elders, presbyters, deacons, and bishops, but that each individual Christian acts as his own authority in all matters pertaining to the faith.

36. Q: Who is the Holy Spirit?
A: The Holy Spirit is a gentleman Who would never barge in.

37. Q: How long hath the Holy Spirit been at work?
A: The Holy Spirit hath been at work for more than a century: expressly, since the nineteenth-century Revitalization brought about by traveling Evangelists carrying tents across America.

38. Q: When will be the "Last Days" of which the Bible speaketh?
A: The "Last Days" are these days in which we are now living, in which the Antichrist, the Beast, and the Thief in the Night shall most certainly appear.

39. Q: What is the name of the event by which Christians will escape these dreadful entities?
A: The event commonly known as the Rapture, in the which it is our Blessed Hope that all cars driven by Christians will suddenly have no drivers.

40. Q: When is Jesus coming again?
A: Maybe morning, maybe noon, maybe evening, and maybe soon.

41. Q: When the roll, roll, roll, is called up yonder, where will you be?
A: There.

42. Q: Hallelu, hallelu, hallelu, hallelujah!
A: Praise ye the Lord!

43. Q: Praise ye the Lord!
A: Hallelujah!

44. Q: Where will we meet again?
A: Here, there, or in the air.

45. Q: What can a pastor say while all heads are bowed?
A. Yes, I see that hand.

46. Q. How is a person saved?
A. If you walk this aisle…

47. Q. And what requirement is there if you should fall into sin?
A. You just need to rededicate your life to God.

48. Q: Can I hear an Ay-men?
A: Ay-men.

Heresy of the Week: Osteenism

A modern heresy, Joel Osteen is just my favorite target (hence why he gets the "honor" of a heresy named after him)--but there are many, many others who perpetuate his dangerous nonsense.  This heresy has swept American megachurches and non-denominationalism in particular.

Osteenism (also known as Prosperitism) is the heresy of the Prosperity Gospel (also known as Prosperity Theology and Health and Wealth Theology), which emerged in the 20th century. They claim the Bible teaches that financial blessing is the will of God for Christians, and that faith, a positive outlook and donations to Christian ministries will always increase one’s material wealth. This is taught as an aspect of the path to Christian dominion over society, arguing that the promise of dominion to Israel extends to Christianity today. There is a significant emphasis on personal empowerment and teach that God’s will is for His people to be happy. If atonement (or a large contribution to an approved religious entity) is made, it will remove sickness and poverty. Any material woes are a sign of broken or weak faith. One simply needs to confess that God promises security and prosperity to those faithful to Him to receive those blessings. It is named for Joel Osteen, a prominent televangelist and proponent of this heresy (though far from the only false teacher of this doctrine).

UPDATE: Why I am not Catholic

I'm going to keep this simply to the topics why, rather than explaining them at this point.  I'll also do "why I am not [fill in one of three protestant sects]" posts soon.

Part of what I am working on now is a study of why the Book of Concord (UAC) is still necessary today, which is why I have been more and more convicted that the teaching of the dogmas below are why I cannot be Catholic.  As my project progresses, my hope is to post short summaries on a number of theological topics with the Catholic, Lutheran and other protestant teachings on each of them so you can see more clearly from where I am coming.  My first topic is Original Sin.

That said, if I was forced to choose between Catholicism and protestantism (Arminianism, Calvinism, Radical Reformed), I wouldn't hesitate for a second to choose to be a Catholic.  Thank God I can be a Lutheran instead, though.

1. The Infallibility of the Pope
2. The Office of the Pope (in general)
3. The deification of Mary*
4. Worship of the Saints**
5. Purgatory and penance
6. Extra Ecclesiam nulla salus 
7. Definitions of Justification and Sanctification
8. The number of Sacraments
9. Transubstantiation
10. The Theology of the Cross vs. the Theology of Glory

P.S. I haven't forgotten about the Heresies family tree list, it is just taking longer than I expected to finish up.


* Update 1: For clarification, I am referring to four separate things here: 
1) The hyper-Marian Catholics, a few of whom I have had conversations with, who are a small but vocal sect pushing for Mary to become the fourth part of the Godhead (but not part of the Trinity as I understand it) which is not, from my understanding, common Catholic teaching.  
2) The immaculate conception of Mary, which from a Lutheran perspective would make her God (since God is the only perfect being, and no human since the Fall can be perfect, therefore for any human, such as Mary, to be perfect, she cannot be truly human because of Original Sin). 
3) The use of the term "co-redemptrix" (which makes it sound as if Mary plays a role not in being the Mother of our Savior, but in our own salvation with Jesus, which is false).
4) Prayer to/in the name of Mary--which, from a Lutheran perspective, is the same as worship of Mary in addition to and/or in place of God.  

There are other items which would be of concern from a Lutheran perspective as well, such as the assumption of Mary, but are less of an issue than the four above.

** Update 2: By "worship" I mean prayer to, or (probably more specifically) prayer in the name of, Saints.  As a Lutheran, we believe we need no intercessor but Jesus, and, as the redeemed children of God, we are even bold enough to pray in the name of Our Father, through Jesus Christ, as taught to us in Matthew.  Again, prayer is a form of worship, and to pray in the name or to the name of anyone but God is tantamount to worship of that person rather than God from the Lutheran perspective.


Originally published on 28 August, 2012; updates on 13 October 2012.

Why I am not "protestant"

It might be easier for all three "protestant" sects to share only what I actually agree with them on, rather than disagree.  I think the "agree" lists will be much shorter in all three cases than the "disagree" lists.

I'm referencing below strict adherence to Arminianism, Calvinism and Radical Reformed teachings, rather than the various denominations and their further misunderstandings of theology today.  Most of them are even worse and I would agree with them less than I do with their root sects.

Arminianism

1. The existence of Free Will (although they seriously over-emphasize it to the point of heresy)
2. God
1. The Trinity
2. Who God is
3. The Humanity and Divinity of Christ
3. Infallibility of the Word of God

Calvinism

1. Original Sin (or Total Depravity from TULIP)
2. Unconditional Election ("U" from TULIP, although they misapply and misunderstand it)
3. God
1. The Trinity
2. Who God is
3. The Humanity and Divinity of Christ
4. Infallibility of the Word of God

Radical Reformed

1. God
1. The Trinity
2. Who God is
3. The Humanity and Divinity of Christ
2. Infallibility of the Word of God

---------------------------------------------------------

And... that's all I can think of off the top of my head.  I'll add to these lists as I think of more, because I feel like there has to be more than this, but I honestly can't think of anything else at the moment.

They're so short because I disagree with all three on everything from tradition in the church to Justification and Sanctification, to eschatology, to free will/predestination (none get it right on this count), to the sacraments, to soteriology, to civil affairs and the church's role in that, to law and gospel, to the office of the keys, to confession, to even simple things like the creeds... and on and on.  When so much that is basic to our faith can't be agreed upon... we have problems.

This is why I've often said if I can't be Lutheran, I'd be Roman Catholic.  I agree with them on far more than I disagree with them, certainly in comparison to "protestants" at least.